Why you should take Zoloft – for everything!

The smarty-pants over at The Onion have come up with a few new uses for Pfizer’s blockbuster anti-depressant drug Zoloft while taking aim at those Direct-To-Consumer (“ask your doctor”) ads convincing consumers they need it. Even though this concept is a gag, it’s frighteningly close to the reality that Big Pharma is creeping towards. 

For example, consider Anita White of Yuma, AZ, who sought out Zoloft after seeing one of the new commercials.  She told The Onion:

“I was sitting on the couch, just watching TV, and, for the life of me, I couldn’t motivate myself to go down to the basement to do the laundry. Luckily, a Zoloft ad came on right at that moment. I went to their website and, sure enough, one of the ‘Could Zoloft Be Right For You?’ quiz questions was: ‘Are you unable to motivate yourself to go down to the unlock iphone 4 basement to do the laundry?’ That’s when I knew.”

The Onion predicts that other pharmaceutical companies are following Pfizer’s lead. On Tuesday, Paxil manufacturer GlaxoSmithKline unveiled its new ad slogan, “Paxil… Give It A Try.”

Eli Lilly, maker of Prozac, will be tempted to launch a similar campaign built around the slogan, Pot Roast Burnt? Husband Home With The Flu? You’re Having One Of Those Prozac Days.”

See also: The Medicalization of Everyday Life   or Panexa: Ask Your Doctor For A Reason To Take It.

Read more of this exciting Zoloft news from The Onion.

7 thoughts on “Why you should take Zoloft – for everything!

  1. If drug makers can’t sell more of their drugs for approved uses, is it any wonder they start looking to expand the number of “diseases” that the drugs can be recommended for? You can either sell more or get patients to take more. Its all about the money.

  2. The sad thing is that this “spoof” is not that different from the daily reality of these direct to consumer drug ads. In Canada, this kind of advertising is illegal – why is it allowed in the U.S.A?

  3. Well, this is where the big money is, right? get more and more patients to take more and more of your drug for more and more reasons, whether theyre needed or not.

  4. I loved this! I hoarded a couple years supply of Zoloft before I got laid off, but stopped taking it after the dreaded event as I didn’t seem to need it anymore.

    Nice to know it will help me get the laundry done 🙂

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