The smarty-pants over at The Onion have come up with a few new uses for Pfizer’s blockbuster anti-depressant drug Zoloft while taking aim at those Direct-To-Consumer (“ask your doctor”) ads convincing consumers they need it. Even though this concept is a gag, it’s frighteningly close to the reality that Big Pharma is creeping towards.
For example, consider Anita White of Yuma, AZ, who sought out Zoloft after seeing one of the new commercials. She told The Onion:
“I was sitting on the couch, just watching TV, and, for the life of me, I couldn’t motivate myself to go down to the basement to do the laundry. Luckily, a Zoloft ad came on right at that moment. I went to their website and, sure enough, one of the ‘Could Zoloft Be Right For You?’ quiz questions was: ‘Are you unable to motivate yourself to go down to the unlock iphone 4 basement to do the laundry?’ That’s when I knew.”
The Onion predicts that other pharmaceutical companies are following Pfizer’s lead. On Tuesday, Paxil manufacturer GlaxoSmithKline unveiled its new ad slogan, “Paxil… Give It A Try.”
Eli Lilly, maker of Prozac, will be tempted to launch a similar campaign built around the slogan, “Pot Roast Burnt? Husband Home With The Flu? You’re Having One Of Those Prozac Days.”
Read more of this exciting Zoloft news from The Onion.