How to sell your snowblower in New Brunswick

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“After many reminders constant nagging much encouragement from my lovely wife to get the snowblower sold, I finally got off my butt and posted an ad on Kijiji.”

And that’s when some pretty amazing things started happening in the life of a Canadian man named Weh-Ming Cho. Cho lives in Moncton, New Brunswick (that’s in the pink part up there, about an hour’s drive from the 8-mile Confederation Bridge to Prince Edward Island).

Last Wednesday morning, he posted an online ad on Kijiji to sell his snowblower during the first snowfall of the season. By Thursday evening, his ad had attracted a whopping 130,000 views, as Cho wrote on his blog, The Blognostifier.

He was bombarded with emails about his ad (over 1,400 so far) — some from as far away as Sydney, Australia — but most of them, he says, were not from potential snowblower buyers, but from people writing to simply say how much they loved his ad. And though not intended, Cho’s snowblower ad melted some hearts, attracting several date proposals. But he insisted:

“I’m happily married.”

He also claimed that he was just looking forward to having a snowblower-sized hole in his garage. Here’s how his since-removed snowblower ad published on Kijiji reads:


__________

 

Do you like shoveling snow? Then stop reading this and go back to your pushups and granola because you are not someone that I want to talk to.

Let’s face it, we live in a place that attracts snow like Magnetic Hill attracts cars, only that ain’t an illusion out there. That’s 12 inches of snow piling up and, oh, what’s that sound? Why, it’s the snow plow and it’s here to let you know that it hates you and all the time you spent to shovel your driveway.

Did you want to get out of your house today?

Were you expecting to get to work on time? Or even this week?

You gave it your best shot. You tried to shovel by yourself and I respect you for that. I did it, my parents did it, some of my best friends did it. But deep down inside, we all wanted to murder that neighbour with the snowblower who was finished and on his second beer while you were still trying to throw snow over a snowbank taller than you are.

So, here we are. You could murder your neighbour, which could ensure that you won’t need to shovel a driveway for 25 to life, but there are downsides to that, too. What to do?

Here’s the deal. I have a snow blower and I want you to own it. I can tell you’re serious about this. It’s like I can almost see you: sitting there, your legs are probably crossed and your left hand is on your chin. Am I right? How’d I do that? The same way that I know that YOU ARE GOING TO BUY THIS SNOWBLOWER.

I want you to experience the rush that comes with smashing through a snowdrift and blowing that mother trucker out of the way. The elation of seeing the snow plow come back down your street and watching the look of despair as your OTHER neighbour gets his shovel out once more while you kick back with a hot cup of joe (you don’t have a drinking problem like that other guy).

Here’s what you do. You go to the bank. You collect $900. You get your buddy with a truck and you drive over here. You give me some cold hard cash and I give you a machine that will mess up a snowbank sumthin’ fierce. I’ve even got the manual for it, on account of I bought it brand new and I don’t throw that kind of thing away.

Don’t want to pay me $900? Convince me. Send me an offer and I’ll either laugh at you and you’ll never hear back from me, or I’ll counter.

You want a snow blower. You need a snow blower. This isn’t some entry level snow blower that is just gonna move the snow two feet away. This is an 11 HP Briggs and Stratton machine of snow doom that will cut a 29 inch path of pure ecstasy.

And it’s only four years old. I dare you to find a harder working four-year old. My niece is five and she gets tired and cranky after just a few minutes of shoveling. This guy just goes and goes and goes.

You know what else? I greased it every year to help keep the water off it and the body in as good as shape as possible. It’s greasier than me when I was 13, and that’s saying something.

You know how many speeds it has? Six forward and two in reverse. It goes from “leisurely” slow up to “light speed”. Seriously, I’ve never gone further than five because it terrifies me. I kid you not, you could probably commute to work with it dragging you.

You know what else is crappy about clearing snow in the morning? That you have to do it in the dark. Well, not anymore! This has a halogen headlight that will light your way like some kind of moveable lighthouse (only better, because lighthouses won’t clear your driveway).

Oh, and since it’s the 21st century, this snow blower comes with an electric starter. Just plug that sucker in, push the button, and get ready to punch snow in the throat. If you want to experience what life was like in olden days, it comes with a back-up cord you could pull to start it, but forget that. The reason you’re getting this fearsome warrior was for the convenience, so why make it harder on yourself?

By this point, you’re probably wondering why I would sell my snowblower since the first snowpocalypse is upon us today.

I’ll tell you why: because I heard it was time for you to man up and harness some mighty teeth and claws and chew your way to freedom, that’s why.

This is my snow blower. Make it your snow blower.

__________

When interviewed about his unexpected online popularity by Canada’s national broadcaster, the CBC, Cho observed:

“I feel like I should use this newfound power and fame to do something worthy. But instead, I’m just going to continue to try to get people to buy my snowblower.”

 

NEWS UPDATE:  Weh-Ming Cho’s famous snowblower has now found a new home! Here’s a shot of him highlighting the features of his ‘machine of snow doom’ to lucky buyer Alec Bruce (at left). By now, Cho’s ad on Kijiji has been viewed 458,000 495,000 times, with over 50,000 linking to it on Facebook.

Find out more on his post, The Snowblower That Ate The Internet.

Way to pitch your product, Mr. Cho!

 

4 thoughts on “How to sell your snowblower in New Brunswick

  1. Hey Carolyn,
    I thought I had posted a reply on your blog already, but now that I’ve swung back over to check I see that I had left this post sadly un-replied.

    Thanks so much for covering the story. By the way, where did you find that map of New Brunswick? It looks really familiar…
    Weh-Ming

    Like

    • Oh, no! Do you by any chance own the copyright to this map? It’s actually a close-up of a vintage-style postcard from the Maritimes . . 🙂 Yours is a great story – and I’m glad the snowblower went to a good home. Q: what are you going to use this winter to clear your snow?
      Cheers,
      C.

      Like

  2. An answer for Weh-Ming Cho’s ad:

    FREE Vancouver Island BC Home of Dreams, cottage and 5 acres with the purchase of this Magic Golden Door Knob – $525,000

    Weh-Ming Cho recently stirred up a flurry selling his east coast snow blowing menace. I have a west coast reply to his ad and a better idea – buy this magic golden doorknob and ditch your stinking, noisy snowblower relationship for one with this property.

    This doorknob faithfully keeps several months of snotty slush and eye-lash seizing cold at bay. Divorce your snowblower, save the snow and ice for the polar bears and ride your Tauntaun west to Errington lotus land while there’s still space. This doorknob will open a portal to paradise – kick back and enjoy your beer on your green lawn in your shirt sleeves with the barbecue on. Take a deep breath and inhale in the pure air devoid of snowblower fumes, but scented with flowers and enjoy the marked absence of snowblowing racket. Review your heating bills and flaunt them to your ex-snowblower. The true path to ecstasy heads west. Lounge on the beach or enjoy the vibrant forest of giant mossy trees and amazing waterfalls. Nature’s at your door step and city amenities are within easy reach, including a university, huge library system, sports complexes, airport and a space-time portal.

    This paradise home is 2700 sq ft, with two levels, cloud 8 and 9. There are three bedrooms with walk-in closets so big, you might land in Narnia if you crawl under the coat rack. Then there is an office so you can email photos of you sunbathing on Christmas day. There is an upstairs sitting room so you can watch the eastern snowstorms on TV, or listen to the radio report while soaking in one of the two tubs. There is a spacious cathedral ceiling living room so that you can put on a cozy fire and pretend its snowing outside. Invite your relatives from the Hoth ice planet to stay in the cute 720 sqft cottage (log post and beam inside, pottery sink, claw foot tub) or rent it.

    In the Garden of Eden, the trees grow like fur so you can’t see your neighbours and they’re all nice so you wouldn’t want to murder them even if they did have a snowblower. When you touch the door knob, you enter a time warp and arrive at a community where neighbours still look out for each other – in fact there is a “Hi Neighbour Day” and quirky parade. At the Christmas concert you can watch 16mm films like “The Snowman” accompanied by the local choir.

    Flip your phone to Moncton weather and gloat over the snowblowing craziness. Don’t marry your snowblower and let it pull you around – I hear they bite if you try to kiss them. Show who’s boss and buy this door knob (magic limited to its existing location.) BUY IT and never whine about winter again! Don’t be a snowblowing knob. Save the snow before it goes extinct! Go ahead …turn the knob and enter nirvana.

    P.S. Do you really want snow? Head to the mountain where 16 meters of snow smothers small chalets. Spend your time playing in it, not blowing it around.
    For more details visit this site

    Unique neighbourhood benefits, floor plans, air photo here.

    Like

    • Hello Patrick – because I like your style, I’m going to ignore our ‘no commercial sales stuff’ rule here to run your comment. Let’s see if Weh-Ming bites . . . 😉
      cheers,
      C.

      Like

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